Updated: Jan 20, 2021
There is no right or wrong relationship.
However, there are right and wrong ways of entering, navigating and exiting them.
At the core of this, is your intention:
Why are you getting into relationships in the first place?
Depending on your answer, your whole experience of relating to another person will be completely different.
The old and conservative model for relationship is one which tries to desperately hold onto the same person for life.
At the opposite end of the spectrum, is the more recent tendency of the cynical individual who doesn't believe in relationship at all - hence refusing to commit.
Both are fear based. Both are limiting. Both lead to unhappiness.
The new relationship paradigm is one that starts with how we relate to ourselves.
It does not externalize.
It does not project.
It does not run away.
It is an ongoing process of deep and relentless self-inquiry.
A full commitment - not to the person - but to that very process.
From this perspective, the *Why* becomes obvious:
I am in relationship to accelerate my evolution.
The relationship - not the person! - is a mirror of my own inner world.
The relationship takes me deeper and deeper into myself - removing layers after layers of masks, defense mechanisms and fear based patterns.
And at the same time, it is taking me out and into the world - it fuels an unavoidable expansion.
Relationship is Self-actualization.
With this point of view, there is simply no way to enter the *wrong relationship*.
I enter it consciously, navigate it consciously, and if the time comes, exit it consciously.
This allows for so much space and flexibility, in which there are no rules except for the ones you make together, moment by moment.
It's a great experiment, an exciting adventure, an open research field..
And at the end of the day, regardless of the outcome, all is left is gratitude - instead of dissappointment.
This is the place where we start changing the world:
From correct (aligned) individuals, to correct relationships, to correct families, to correct communities, to a correct world.